Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Episode 100,000: Where Julie Got Her Groove Back

Six weeks after the birth of my fifth child, things are finally starting to settle into place. I'm starting to feel like myself, my older children have adjusted to a new brother (meaning mommy is even busier than usual), and said baby brother is happy and healthy. The craziness of having five children has sunk in, and I've begun to accept this craziness. I feel calm, relaxed and able to cope. (Thank you, Lord!)

I'm ready to be productive again. I'm ready to go out and about with my large brood. (Maybe?) I'm blissfully in love with my family. And did I mention this weather? It's enough to set one's heart a-glowing.

Today I have a six year old working on a "book report". He's loving mommy's attention as he works.

Today I have a four year old, learning to read and happy to have mommy sit with her and help.

Today I have a two year old, coloring within the lines and trying to write E's all over the place.

Today I have a one year old, trying to copy everything her older siblings do...trying to say everything they say, trying to write.

Today I have a six week (!) old baby, napping sweetly in the bed we share.

Ahhhhh. This is the life.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Coincidence? I think not.

"Our blessed Lord experienced a terrible sinking and melting of soul. 'The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity, but a wounded spirit who can bear?' Deep depression of spirit is the most grievous of all trials; all besides is as nothing. Well might the suffering Savior cry to His God, 'Be not far from me', for above all others seasons a man needs his God when his heart is melted within him because of heaviness. Believer, come near the cross this morning, and humbly adore the King of glory as having once been brought far lower, in mental distress and inward anguish, than any one among us; and mark His fitness to become a faithful High Priest, who can be touched with a feeling of our infirmities. Especially let those of us whose sadness springs directly from the withdrawal of a present sense of our Father's love, enter into near and intimate communion with Jesus. Let us not give way to despair, since through this dark room the Master has passed before us. Our souls may sometimes long and faint, and thirst even to anguish, to behold the light of the Lord's countenance: at such times let us stay ourselves with the sweet fact of the sympathy of our great High Priest. Our drops of sorrow may well be forgotten in the ocean of His griefs; but how high ought our love to rise! Come in, O strong and deep love of Jesus, like the sea at the flood in spring tides, cover all my powers, drown all my sins, wash out all my cares, lift up my earth-bound soul, and float it right up to my Lord's feet, and there let me lie, a poor broken shell, washed up by His love, having no virtue or value; and only venturing to whisper to Him that if He will put His ear to me, He will hear within my heart faint echoes of the vast waves of His own love which have brought me where it is my delight to lie, even at His feet for ever."

Spurgeon, Morning and Evening- April 12

As I was drifting off to sleep late last night, I realized how weary I was. My heart was heavy and sadness was overwhelming me. I've felt it for a while, just tried fighting it myself instead of turning to the One person who can help. I told myself no matter what, in the morning I was going to read Spurgeon and I told myself that more than likely, I could easily apply what he said to me... and so I can't say I was surprised after reading the morning devotional for today. Sometimes it just blows my mind how a passage can be exactly what you needed to hear at the exact time you needed to hear it. Predestined? Seriously.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Some Days...

...a mommy just needs to cry.